Patience

Today’s Quote:

“If the other actor isn’t giving you what you want, act as though he were.”—Michael Caine

The dreams:

This week is a nice marker for me.  Until this week, I was honestly dreading one part of moving to a new city:  Having to make a whole new list of friends and contacts after spending a year making friends and contacts here in Denver.  It was hard to not view some of my growth here in Denver as a waste because I would have to start from basically zero wherever I go next.  I’m not worried about that now.  I’ve been dreaming about all the new friends and new ‘business partners’ I’m going to be making when I move.  It’s a good dream; I love people … especially ones I’m just meeting!

What did I “DO” to move forward?

I started working more on my music writing and performing.  I used to be a pretty good dance music DJ and while I’ve still got the technical skills, I’m re-learning some of the art to it.  I’m also still working on building some auditions and contacts in Seattle.

Patience … Not a subject for a single article. 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found a lot of uses for patience in my life.  I’ve been very grateful for seeing these moments as they’ve come along and I think it’s going to help me in a huge way, as I get closer to ramping my professional efforts up even more.

The first place I have been taking on some patience from is my booking schedule.  I’m currently not in a show until September and that is unusual for me.  (Hah, I’m sure some of you are cursing, “Oh, Poor Erik doesn’t know what it’s like to not constantly be in a show.” Get over it!)  Non-the-less, I’ve had the temptation to think this lack of shows is signifying a harder road than I wanted to deal with. 

It is harder than I thought it would be—and I thought it would be really freaking hard.  But I am reminded: every day I work at it and every time I watch my friends who are also rocking out in this world it shows that it is still very possible.

Another lesson about patience I’ve been learning is specifically for the actors out there.  We all know it is annoying as hell to have to act across from someone who is a blank wall or someone who has his or her own thing going on and is not responding to you at all.  It sucks!!! 

Those of us who have even the slightest bit of humility in themselves will remember that we also (at one time or another) have been the actor who gives nothing and receives nothing; the actor who is as fun to act with as a chair.  So, lets not get pissed off every time we have to work with someone who needs more acting classes.  We should love them for being there and trying.  After all, we all could use some more acting classes every once in a while … always.

Filling the VOID

Today’s Quote:

“Take your job seriously, and then you’ll be hired to do the fun stuff!” – Auditioning and Acting for the Camera by John W.Shepard

This week’s dreams:

I dreamed most about perpetual motion this week.  Starting last Sunday, I was working almost from wake-up to bed time on my craft.  I had tech rehearsals for a show that opened three days ago, “Six Degrees of Separation.”  Meanwhile, I had kid shows during the day.  I was having drinks after our opening night on Friday with some people who saw the play I was in and one of them asked me what else I did for a living.  With out an instance of hesitation, I said, “I’m a full time actor.”  That is a big thought change for me:  To un-questioningly affirm myself as a full time actor is awesome!  This week, I dreamed about keeping that affirmation going.

What did I “DO” this week?

I started re-submitting to talent agencies in Denver.  I’ve heard enough of some actors saying they can’t get any work from their agent while other actors say they are getting plenty of work to know that if I had an agent, I would do very well!  The result?  I’ve got an audition this week for the (arguably) biggest and best talent agency in Denver!  I started my month of using public transportation instead of my car and I love it.  I’m getting a lot of acting reading done on the bus and have a better handle on my schedule and how to effectively use my time.  It was a very good week.

So…As I prepare for the possibility of being represented by a talent agency, I’ve started grabbing hold of the fact that the majority of equitable work in the area is in commercials. 

I’ve noticed that commercials can have a bad rep with actors who are focused too heavily on “the art” of our work.  However, I’ve long accepted that I am going to have to do things that are more about the money than the art.

Lets play would you rather:

Would you rather do commercials and feel your artistic soul be challenged while working on your craft in thee commercial.  Then also be able to do shows and films that are the ‘good’ work a little later…

OR

Would you rather work as a temp and get a job as an envelope stuffer at a Blockbuster distribution center, act in shows that are artsy, but don’t pay well (or at all) and be so tired and sore and drained from your day job that you can barely focus on stage?

I did the second option…for about three weeks.  I HATED IT!!!  And that second option sucks so much, I will never believe the work of commercials or industrials are beneath me.   At the end of the day, it is still acting…Warehouse jobs, waiting tables, and making lattes isn’t. 

I’m not saying these above jobs are bad jobs.  They just aren’t the jobs to have if you want to have a conversation with a stranger and say, “I’m a full time actor.”  Which, believe me, is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever been privileged enough to say.

I think what I really learned from this week is that there is (regardless of your life purpose as you see it) enormous value in being totally comfortable with your identity to the point that your job, your actions, and your words all radiate that awesome identity.

Tough Guy Huh!?!

Today’s Quote:

“Work that you loathe will taint your entire being.” – Mari Lyn Henry & Lynne Rogers in How To Be A Working Actor

This week’s dream:

Well, this past week being Valentine’s Week, I found myself thinking mostly about my girlfriend.  We are in a long distance relationship and have been since the beginning.  I’ve been dreaming of the day that I can make it no-longer long distance.  The day where I’m successful enough to allow us to actually be part of each other’s daily lives.  (Awe!)

What did I “DO” this week?

This week, I submitted a video audition for a role in a feature film to be shot this summer.  (Thanks to my brother for reading the other parts, and Matt for donating time and a camera) 

I have a theory about success with an agent that I’ve developed over the past few weeks after talking to several individuals.  The theory is:  Aside from having the right look (which might not matter as much as you think) one’s success with good agency is directly connected with one’s work ethic and how effectively someone uses their talent. 

I was talking with a professional in town who has done several commercial spots over the years in the Denver area.  He works more than most, but less than he could.  Something that stood out to me from what he said is that Denver actors in particular, have this sense that they can go into an audition or even the shoot and wing it.  Some, no doubt, get away with it; but most don’t.  Agents hate this! 

What I deduced from this is that: even if there are twenty guys working with the best agency in town that look exactly like me, maybe three or five of them get regular calls.  Why is this?  Those three to five actors are the ones who show up to work like professionals.  They are easy to work with, prepared, professional, and they deliver…every time.  What are the other guys doing?  (This may be harsh—especially since I’m a friend with some of them)  They are probably not doing the above things and they are probably griping at home or in the dressing room about how little work there is, how hard the Denver market is, and how they hate that they look like twenty other guys at their agency.

I think, in the acting world, there is no such thing as an, ‘easy market’.   Some markets have more work than others.  Some are more saturated with actors.  Some have the more desirable work of film and television, while others have better options in commercial and industrial videos.  Every market is hard as hell though!  So, what do I need to do? 

I need to be as tough as my market.  If there are twenty guys in my agency who look like me:  I need to be a better actor, a better professional, and a better person to work with than any of them.  (Not in a snooty competitive way—in a mater of fact way)

In the ‘business’ world of the normal people jobs: People move quickly up the ladder by putting in the extra work, being the best player, and talking to the right people.  Why do we actors think our job should be different?  If you’re in a show that has eight performances a week, are you going to be working hard?  You bet!  Is that enough if you want to keep moving up or be more stable financially?  HELLZZZ NO!!! 

Maybe I need to pull a few more eighty-hour workweeks for the next few years.  Then, when I’m drinking hot cocoa with Johnny Depp at a skiing lodge in Austria, then I can finally sit back and whine about the one time a director didn’t hire me because I didn’t quite look right for the part.

I wonder what Johnny Depp’s favorite hot-drink is.  Does he like it spiked, or not?  Something creamy or some kind of tea?  I guess I’ll have to ask him in a few years when we go on a buddy-buddy ski trip.  Does he ski?  If not, I can teach people how to ski…I’ll teach him…(The thought of seeing him ‘yard-sale’ on the side of a hill and laughing my head off as I help him dig snow out of his goggles makes me really hope he doesn’t ski much)  Johnny, I invite you to a skiing trip in Austria…chance of a lifetime for you buddy!  IT’S  AUSTRIA!!!  That’s some James Bond shit right there!

FAIL like a PRO!

Today’s Quote:

“Don’t make excuses, MAKE IT HAPPEN!”—Unknown 

            I don’t know who said it first, but I do know lots of people repeat it and it was on the back of a sports camp t-shirt I had in High School.

Today’s Song:  Shadow of Death by Emmanuel Jal

Dreams: 

Today, in church, I daydreamed about opening a school similar to the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York.  It would be focused in Chekhov Technique, and would also have branches of education for every job that one could have in Theatre or film.  Hmm….

What did I “DO” this week? 

I did see a musical; Forum for those who care.  And I made some new friends in the industry.  I got wacked over the head with some cool inspirational ideas on Saturday at a corporate event (of all places).

First off:  About excuses…they suck.  I thought up of this little idea that I want to call a fact.  It might lose me some friends or gain me some friends…I’m not sure.  I think, “Any excuse, no matter how good of an excuse it is, is still just an excuse at the end of the day.”  An excuse, takes away our sense of responsibility for what we did or did not do.  It’s different from a reason.  Reasons rationalize our action or inaction in a way that we can figure out how to do better next time.  Reasons give us the ability to take responsibility.

So, I feel like this post is going to mostly be more quotes.  As I said, I just went to a corporate event for my mom’s business, and though I didn’t want to be a ‘corporate worker’ by the end, I did glean a lot of cool reminders for my journey as a professional artist.

Something that stood out most to me was the concept that, “Life gets really easy when you understand that what you really want in your life will be really hard to get.”  This isn’t a (life sucks cuz it’s hard) concept.  It just illuminates how resistance works.  This resistance gets a lot of us by hitting us where it hurts, in a way that makes us go for the next best thing.  Who’s ever gone on a diet, lost some weight, and given up when a few pounds come back?  Resistance tricks us spiritual types by making us thing, “If God wanted me to do so-n-so, then doing it would come easily.”  However, I don’t think God would appreciate it if a world full of his ideas just gave up every time they missed the mark…every time they failed.

That’s the other thing that I loved from what I was hearing yesterday.  “Failure is not an Option” Is a big concept in our society.  So, imagine how easy it would be to feel crappy if you do fail.  “Damn, I just chose the option that is SO BAD it’s supposed to NOT be an option!”  That sucks!  But, what if failing wasn’t all that bad.  There’s a reason the Phoenix is one of the most beautiful (albeit mythical) creatures ever.  “Failure is the foundation for a future success.”  Go out there and go as hard as you can.  You’re going to get banged up…a lot…and that’s half the fun, if you decide to look at it that way.

From the outside, it’s looked like I’ve been flying from success to success.  I have failed a few times.    I can’t say I’ve really been banged up, but maybe it’s because I’ve started to decide to, “Eat Failure for breakfast” if you will.  I get up, chew on it, and go about my day.  Of course, I do get hungry by about 11am…Side track.  I guess what I’m getting at is that doing what you love is the most dangerous thing you could do.  I heard once that love is very similar to insanity in a lot of ways.  Not everyone can stomach being willfully insane!  That is why going after what you want and love most in life is so dangerous.  You could get your heart broken.  When the stakes are so high, who in their right mind would go for it?  This also has the greatest rewards possible in life.  I think insanity is worth the ability to look back on life and know you did everything in your power to be the best ‘YOU’ you could be.

I’m going to be insane.  I’m going to fail every once in a while and get my heart broken.  That’s scary as hell.  I’m not going to make excuses.  I’m going to make it happen, and eat up my failures like little bites of WHEATIES until I attract success like a really big magnet. 

This is scary—I said that already—oh no, the insanity—it’s already started!

Vanity In the Eyes of The Mirror

This is a long one.  If you really think you can't spare 5 minutes for inspiration, skip to the last two paragraphs.

Today’s quote:

“To Eric, with the heartbreak look!”  - Deryn Warren - Author of, How to Make Your Audience Fall in Love With You—This was the signature she wrote on the inside cover of the afore-mentioned book.  She signed it after a workshop I did with her a few years ago.  No, I don’t spell my name with a “C”, but I don’t think I felt comfortable correcting her.

Today’s Song:  Sexy Boy by AIR

Dreams:  Being able to invite my most loved friends from college to a ski trip and make sure they can come, even if money is tight for them.  I really want to hang out with people outside of shows again!

What did I  “DO” this week?

I started rehearsals for my biggest gig to date…until I land the next big one.  Not in an arrogant way.  Just in an optimistic way.  I had a big audition for the Colorado Shakespeare Festival.  It was big for me because I’ve had almost no Shakespeare training and I felt really good about how I did in the audition even though I didn’t get called back.

Something I don’t get is how an awkward, smelly, nerdy teenager can grow up in the course of a year or so to have a “Heart Break Look.”  What’s more is that I had recently started wishing I were LESS of a heartbreaker.  (There are probably a few incredibly beautiful people that I have been in love with who also wish I was less of a heartbreaker…Sorry) 

The reason I wished I didn’t look like I do is encapsulated in the fact that the industry of film and stage is saturated with dudes that have “The heartbreak look.”  I recently heard about someone who is in casting who was told they should talk to me.  When I was pointed out from across the room the remark was something like, “Oh, of course he’s an actor.” 

I don’t think many actors are vain; not the good ones anyway.  I think our job security just relies on us looking a particular way.  But, I think the thing that we sometimes forget is that the ‘look’ that will work best for us is the one we already have.  And that ‘look’ is allowed to change as we mature and age and whatnot.  This isn’t to say that I wont be ‘hitting the gym’ in order to fit my role in my March show.  That extra work to have a more distinct body type has so little to do with wanting to look really good, and so much to do with dedication to my work:  Giving it by best effort. 

Along the same lines, I’ve wondered if it’s “Ok” to want to go big with this job.  To go to the Golden Globes (Which I just watched for the first time. tonight) is something that I’ve wanted for a little while now, but I’ve felt that I should be hush hush about it. 

I think my new thought about it is this.  I don’t actually care if I ever get to sit in that room for the Golden Globes or for the Oscars, as long as I know that I did absolutely everything in my power to get there.  I think I have that potential, but I’ll only find out if I try.

I’ve been reflecting recently on the great depression…I have no idea why.  (That was a joke)  I was noticing how much innovation in industry AND art there was during those times.  Those who came through those times on top, were largely people who dreamed big and tried hard to get those dreams.  Starting in the 50s though, after the depression, people were rewarded for getting a job and showing up to work from 9 to 5 and calling that good.  Now, I think the times are changing to that previous trend.

Today one of my favorite people remarked that this is the year of the artist.  I agree.  We artists have the amazing ability to dream bigger than most; EVEN THOUGH just surviving is harder for us than most.  Artists, true artists are the strongest people out there, and I think this year will award those who refuse to let go of dreaming big and trying hard.  After all, lots of people dream big and lots of people try hard, but few do both.

A Case of "The Mondays"

Today’s Quote:

The Business of being an actor, whether you are employed or not, is a full-time job.  Serious pursuit of your career demands diligence in developing your talents, looking for jobs, being able to perform on cue, and packaging yourself correctly.  It really requires a total commitment.  – How To Be a Working Actor by Mari Lyn Henry & Lynne Rogers

Today’s Song:  A Real Hero (feat. Electric Youth) by College

My Dreams:  This week is the start of some yearly goal setting.  I’m doing something that lots of folks think is taboo.  I’m going to tell you how much money I want to make.  Weird right?  By August of this year (when my current apt. lease is up) I want to make at least $25,000 through performance work.  These are big numbers for a fresh actor, but, not impossible.  Besides, even if I get to half of this it’ll be more financial stability than I have ever seen.

What did I do to get there? 

Honestly, I dropped the ball a little this week.  I had a car emergency that soaked up a day and a half, but still:  I partied with a bunch of industry professionals at an annual party (yes it counts), I put my website online (still under construction) check it out - eriksiegling.com – give me your comments on the site.  What’s good, what’s not… I had an audition yesterday that went all right, and I finally got some balls and started calling up casting agencies.

Ok, so technically I’m a few hours late getting this in for my ‘weekly’ minimum update.  Shame on me!  I’ll write two at least this week to make up for it.  Boy do I have enough to talk about!

Tomorrow marks the start of something big.  I’m going to be working from 9AM to 5PM!  This isn’t at a bank, or a market, nor is it at box manufacturing company (LOST reference).  I am starting rehearsals, which will go the next two and a half weeks, followed by an average eight show per week run that goes from now through the middle of April! 

Tomorrow marks the first day of my life that I am fully supporting my lifestyle and all of my bills with my art.  This is a giant piece of awesome pie that many never even get to taste.  I am so grateful.  And I want to keep it that way.

I don’t get how one could ever want to have a job that makes them literally HATE Monday.  WHO DOES THAT!?  Why would you do that to yourself?  I think such a sentiment is a big indicator of how soon you should quit your job and start following your dreams.  If I hated Mondays because of my job, I’d quit … THIS Monday.  If doing this ends up not working for you, don’t blame me.  Just try again.

I think the other thing that I’m grateful for this Monday is that I have three weeks of that 9-5 work to get into a hard workin’ groove.  Once the show gets running, it’ll be tempting to call the daytime shows and the evening DJ gigs good enough.  But, I can’t imagine how much more reachable my fiscal and acting skill-level goals will be if I work a solid 8 hour day.  I’m gonna do it!

Unstoppable.  Tomorrow marks the day that I become UNSTOPPABLE!!!

I hope it’s that good of a Monday for you too.