Sunday, January 15, 2012
Vanity In the Eyes of The Mirror
This is a long one. If you really think you can't spare 5 minutes for inspiration, skip to the last two paragraphs.
“To Eric, with the heartbreak look!” - Deryn Warren - Author of, How to Make Your Audience Fall in Love With You—This was the signature she wrote on the inside cover of the afore-mentioned book. She signed it after a workshop I did with her a few years ago. No, I don’t spell my name with a “C”, but I don’t think I felt comfortable correcting her.
Today’s Song: Sexy Boy by AIR
Dreams: Being able to invite my most loved friends from college to a ski trip and make sure they can come, even if money is tight for them. I really want to hang out with people outside of shows again!
What did I “DO” this week?
I started rehearsals for my biggest gig to date…until I land the next big one. Not in an arrogant way. Just in an optimistic way. I had a big audition for the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. It was big for me because I’ve had almost no Shakespeare training and I felt really good about how I did in the audition even though I didn’t get called back.
Something I don’t get is how an awkward, smelly, nerdy teenager can grow up in the course of a year or so to have a “Heart Break Look.” What’s more is that I had recently started wishing I were LESS of a heartbreaker. (There are probably a few incredibly beautiful people that I have been in love with who also wish I was less of a heartbreaker…Sorry)
The reason I wished I didn’t look like I do is encapsulated in the fact that the industry of film and stage is saturated with dudes that have “The heartbreak look.” I recently heard about someone who is in casting who was told they should talk to me. When I was pointed out from across the room the remark was something like, “Oh, of course he’s an actor.”
I don’t think many actors are vain; not the good ones anyway. I think our job security just relies on us looking a particular way. But, I think the thing that we sometimes forget is that the ‘look’ that will work best for us is the one we already have. And that ‘look’ is allowed to change as we mature and age and whatnot. This isn’t to say that I wont be ‘hitting the gym’ in order to fit my role in my March show. That extra work to have a more distinct body type has so little to do with wanting to look really good, and so much to do with dedication to my work: Giving it by best effort.
Along the same lines, I’ve wondered if it’s “Ok” to want to go big with this job. To go to the Golden Globes (Which I just watched for the first time. tonight) is something that I’ve wanted for a little while now, but I’ve felt that I should be hush hush about it.
I think my new thought about it is this. I don’t actually care if I ever get to sit in that room for the Golden Globes or for the Oscars, as long as I know that I did absolutely everything in my power to get there. I think I have that potential, but I’ll only find out if I try.
I’ve been reflecting recently on the great depression…I have no idea why. (That was a joke) I was noticing how much innovation in industry AND art there was during those times. Those who came through those times on top, were largely people who dreamed big and tried hard to get those dreams. Starting in the 50s though, after the depression, people were rewarded for getting a job and showing up to work from 9 to 5 and calling that good. Now, I think the times are changing to that previous trend.
Today one of my favorite people remarked that this is the year of the artist. I agree. We artists have the amazing ability to dream bigger than most; EVEN THOUGH just surviving is harder for us than most. Artists, true artists are the strongest people out there, and I think this year will award those who refuse to let go of dreaming big and trying hard. After all, lots of people dream big and lots of people try hard, but few do both.