This is a long one. If you really think you can't spare 5 minutes for inspiration, skip to the last two paragraphs.
Today’s quote:
“To Eric, with the heartbreak look!” - Deryn Warren - Author of, How to Make Your Audience Fall in Love With
You—This was the signature she wrote on the inside cover of the
afore-mentioned book. She signed
it after a workshop I did with her a few years ago. No, I don’t spell my name with a “C”, but I don’t think I
felt comfortable correcting her.
Today’s Song: Sexy Boy by AIR
Dreams: Being
able to invite my most loved friends from college to a ski trip and make sure
they can come, even if money is tight for them. I really want to hang out with people outside of shows
again!
What did I “DO”
this week?
I started rehearsals for my biggest gig to date…until I land
the next big one. Not in an
arrogant way. Just in an
optimistic way. I had a big
audition for the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. It was big for me because I’ve had almost no Shakespeare
training and I felt really good about how I did in the audition even though I
didn’t get called back.
Something I don’t get is how an awkward, smelly, nerdy
teenager can grow up in the course of a year or so to have a “Heart Break
Look.” What’s more is that I had
recently started wishing I were LESS of a heartbreaker. (There are probably a few incredibly beautiful
people that I have been in love with who also wish I was less of a
heartbreaker…Sorry)
The reason I wished I didn’t look like I do is encapsulated
in the fact that the industry of film and stage is saturated with dudes that
have “The heartbreak look.” I
recently heard about someone who is in casting who was told they should talk to
me. When I was pointed out from
across the room the remark was something like, “Oh, of course he’s an actor.”
I don’t think many actors are vain; not the good ones
anyway. I think our job security
just relies on us looking a particular way. But, I think the thing that we sometimes forget is that the
‘look’ that will work best for us is the one we already have. And that ‘look’ is allowed to change as
we mature and age and whatnot.
This isn’t to say that I wont be ‘hitting the gym’ in order to fit my
role in my March show. That extra
work to have a more distinct body type has so little to do with wanting to look
really good, and so much to do with dedication to my work: Giving it by best effort.
Along the same lines, I’ve wondered if it’s “Ok” to want to
go big with this job. To go to the
Golden Globes (Which I just watched for the first time. tonight) is something
that I’ve wanted for a little while now, but I’ve felt that I should be hush
hush about it.
I think my new thought about it is this. I don’t actually care if I ever get to
sit in that room for the Golden Globes or for the Oscars, as long as I know
that I did absolutely everything in my power to get there. I think I have that potential, but I’ll
only find out if I try.
I’ve been reflecting recently on the great depression…I have
no idea why. (That was a
joke) I was noticing how much
innovation in industry AND art there was during those times. Those who came through those times on
top, were largely people who dreamed big and tried hard to get those dreams. Starting in the 50s though, after the
depression, people were rewarded for getting a job and showing up to work from
9 to 5 and calling that good. Now,
I think the times are changing to that previous trend.
Today one of my favorite people remarked that this is the
year of the artist. I agree. We artists have the amazing ability to
dream bigger than most; EVEN THOUGH just surviving is harder for us than
most. Artists, true artists are
the strongest people out there, and I think this year will award those who
refuse to let go of dreaming big and trying hard. After all, lots of people dream big and lots of people try
hard, but few do both.
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