Tuesday, March 27, 2012

In My Own Little World

Today’s Quote:
“The camera doesn’t have to be wooed; the camera already loves you deeply…  you have never known such devotion.  –Michael Caine

The dreams:
I just day-dreamed about remodeling a kitchen to be perfect for every one of my cooking fantasies.  Mmmm, food.

What did I “DO” this week?
O.K. So I guess it’s more like, “What did I do these past few weeks?”  I do apologize for my absence.  I had a bit of a spring-break and have been away from the-ol blog for a while. 
As you remember, I was submitting to agencies last time we talked.  I had an audition for the best agency in town and they basically liked me, but said I was not ready for camera work.  I was expecting that, but I admit: it took a while to get out of the pit of “I SUCK!!!”  I took it as a hint and in the last few weeks I’ve lined up some acting classes to try out and I got a plane ticket to see my friend’s wedding in L.A. (A good place to look for a workshop maybe?)  I also submitted auditions to some theatres in the mountains for summer.  I also had an "Extras" cattle-call audition for a Johnny Depp movie being shot in Colorado this summer.  Cattle-calls are silly ... just ... silly.   In general, I’m trying to re-open my eyes to this business and what I need to do next in it.

“In My Own Little World” is the title of this article and it is basically to say I need to be there more. 

These past few weeks have been hard because I think I’ve gotten very caught up in the lives and emotions of others in a way that hurts my life and emotions.  I think the practice of being in our own little world is about developing a thick skin, not just to our own failure and rejection, but to our friend’s and family member’s failures and defeats. 

I’ve been getting a lot of reminders to say to myself, “It’s their life.  Let them live it.  They WILL be okay.”  I’m sure I could say that about myself a bit more too…

What if we started every day with that simple statement or something like it (Perhaps the Lord’s Prayer, or Mrs. Eddy’s ‘Daily Prayer—For those of you who know it.)  It would be so great for us to remind ourselves… AND FULLY BELIEVE; This is our life.  We should just LET ourselves live it.  We will always be okay.   More than okay.  GREAT! 

Monday, March 5, 2012

Filling the VOID

Today’s Quote:
“Take your job seriously, and then you’ll be hired to do the fun stuff!” – Auditioning and Acting for the Camera by John W.Shepard

This week’s dreams:
I dreamed most about perpetual motion this week.  Starting last Sunday, I was working almost from wake-up to bed time on my craft.  I had tech rehearsals for a show that opened three days ago, “Six Degrees of Separation.”  Meanwhile, I had kid shows during the day.  I was having drinks after our opening night on Friday with some people who saw the play I was in and one of them asked me what else I did for a living.  With out an instance of hesitation, I said, “I’m a full time actor.”  That is a big thought change for me:  To un-questioningly affirm myself as a full time actor is awesome!  This week, I dreamed about keeping that affirmation going.

What did I “DO” this week?
I started re-submitting to talent agencies in Denver.  I’ve heard enough of some actors saying they can’t get any work from their agent while other actors say they are getting plenty of work to know that if I had an agent, I would do very well!  The result?  I’ve got an audition this week for the (arguably) biggest and best talent agency in Denver!  I started my month of using public transportation instead of my car and I love it.  I’m getting a lot of acting reading done on the bus and have a better handle on my schedule and how to effectively use my time.  It was a very good week.

So…As I prepare for the possibility of being represented by a talent agency, I’ve started grabbing hold of the fact that the majority of equitable work in the area is in commercials. 

I’ve noticed that commercials can have a bad rep with actors who are focused too heavily on “the art” of our work.  However, I’ve long accepted that I am going to have to do things that are more about the money than the art.

Lets play would you rather:
Would you rather do commercials and feel your artistic soul be challenged while working on your craft in thee commercial.  Then also be able to do shows and films that are the ‘good’ work a little later…
Would you rather work as a temp and get a job as an envelope stuffer at a Blockbuster distribution center, act in shows that are artsy, but don’t pay well (or at all) and be so tired and sore and drained from your day job that you can barely focus on stage?

I did the second option…for about three weeks.  I HATED IT!!!  And that second option sucks so much, I will never believe the work of commercials or industrials are beneath me.   At the end of the day, it is still acting…Warehouse jobs, waiting tables, and making lattes isn’t. 

I’m not saying these above jobs are bad jobs.  They just aren’t the jobs to have if you want to have a conversation with a stranger and say, “I’m a full time actor.”  Which, believe me, is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever been privileged enough to say.

I think what I really learned from this week is that there is (regardless of your life purpose as you see it) enormous value in being totally comfortable with your identity to the point that your job, your actions, and your words all radiate that awesome identity.